Florida State!

Woohooooo!  Fourth year in a row we sweep Miami and Florida!

Motherfuck Carp!

I guess FSU owns Florida!

Florida State!

National champions!  YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Motherfuck Carp!  

I'm Back....MFers!

Motherfuck Carp!

Stone cold, straight up, motherfuck Carp!

Check this out.....check this out......

Alex has an on-line friend (VERY good-looking guy, too, I must say, but don't tell him that I said that) who is also a Dodger fan.  And they talk Dodgers all the time and sometimes I'll shoot him an IM reminding him that he should be a Rays fan.

And.....well.....he mentioned that there's a player on the Red Sox named.....

MIKE CARP!

Are you fucking kidding me?  ANOTHER Carp for Motherfuck Carp?  It's like getting this awesome gift that just appears out of nowhere!

Thank you, Dodger fan friend of Alex.  It almost makes up for you not being a Rays fan.

ALMOST.

So what's happened in the past year and few months?

Professionally, not all that much.  I'm still an office manager, and that's where I want to stay, to be honest.  I really, really like my job.  I get to boss around lawyers and sometimes kick them in the shins.  It's sooooo cool.

Okay, cutting this short.  I just wanted to post an entry for the first time in forever.  I'll post again in the next couple of days and explain the new layout and to talk about a new girlfriend.  

Yeah.  :)

Hip Dad, Cool Dad

When we were growing up, we all knew these two types of dads, didn't we?

There were many, many kinds of dads we knew, but we all knew at least one hip dad and one cool dad--or at least most of us did.

You know the difference, right?

Hip Dad....yeah, kind of a sad case.

Hip Dad, man, he's the dad who buys you the pot to smoke in the garage and usually smokes it with you and your friends. He tries so hard to be one of the guys. He talks about how he'd like to hit Molly Cyrus' shit and tap Britney Spears' well worn ass.

He means well, and makes everyone uncomfortable. Really, life lost all meaning for Hip Dad when he graduated from high school.

Hip Dad is harmless. He's a tool. He's an embarrassment. But still, he's harmless.

But the money dad......that was Cool Dad, huh?

Cool Dad was good looking. Cool Dad fit in easily with your buddies. Cool Dad could eye up a sixteen year old chick's tight ass, then look at you and chuckle and wink and you'd all bust up. That Cool Dad! What a dog! That rascal! I bet he banged his share of hot ass when he was your age!

That's cuz Cool Dad......he, at heart, truly was one of you. And he was just sayin' what you were thinking! Cool Dad let you drink beer and smoke pot in your room--just as long as you were discreet.

Want to bang the shit out of your girl? Cool Dad would wink, give you a thumbs-up, and toss you a box of rubbers and take Mom out for dinner. Cool Dad would always cover for you while you went and "got some pussy".

Fuck yeah. Everybody wanted to hang with Cool Dad. Nobody wanted hang with Hip Dad. Hip Dad sucked. He tried too hard, man. Cool Dad, well, it all came so easily for him.

Then one day, something bad happened to Hip Dad's and Cool Dad's families.

And whatever the crisis, whatever the problem, that embarrassing hack, that joke, that pathetic Hip Dad.....he was there, wasn't he? He stayed. He struggled. He stopped trying to be hip and with-it. He was working too many hours trying to get the family out of trouble, whatever it was.

Yeah, Hip Dad was there. Hip Dad......he came through. Hip Dad, well, maybe he wasn't really embarrassing at all. He didn't seem as sad and pathetic. You.....holy cow.....kind of admired Hip Dad. Maybe, at the end of the day, he WAS a tool. But he was tool with some character, right?

Cool Dad, not so much. You see, usually, when a Cool Dad's family got into trouble, he was the cause of it. You see, whereas Hip Dad always knew that he was bending or breaking the rules, he always did know where to draw the line.

Cool Dad, well, quite frankly, the reason he didn't care if you broke the rules is that he always thought that rules were for suckers. And if Cool Dad used to think rules were for suckers, they didn't apply to him, because if there was one thing he was not, it was a sucker. You see, Cool Dad always believed his own press releases.

Usually, Cool Dad would get busted for some kind of embezzlement. And while formerly Hip Dad worked his ass off to get his family out of trouble, Cool Dad not only caused the trouble, he never hung around to, you know, fix it.

Cool Dad was the type to take all of his embezzled money, as well as any money in the family's checking account, pick up his righteously hot admin and head to South America--usually in a country with no extradition agreement in place with the United States.

So let's look at the NFL's version of Hip Dad and Cool Dad, shall we? Let's start off with Hip Dad!

Jim Irsay!

Yeah, Jim's Hip Dad. He gets on Twitter and tries to be funny and he's more often than not, his stuff falls flat.

He came from money....oh that's not cool in our society, right? And he has that goofy goatee. And he hangs around with celebrities and lets us all know about it. He posts pictures of himself at parties.

Hip Dad Jim.

But Hip Dad Jim knew when to come through. This year, his franchise was faced with cutting ties with Indy's favorite son, Peyton Manning or keeping Peyton and passing on Andrew Luck.

If Hip Dad Jim kept Peyton, he had a max of a few years left with him. And that was assuming Peyton's neck was fully healed.

Hip Dad Jim stumbled along the way to the draft. He and Son Peyton engaged in some politicking, trying to win the favor of Colts Nation. Hip Dad Jim went Hip Dad and called Peyton--a guy I have no doubt he really did love--a politician. And Peyton courted public opinion as well. Of course, Prized and Beloved Son Peyton was the winner of this contest.

But when push came to shove, Hip Dad Jim was there, doing what he thought was best for the future of his franchise: releasing the most beloved athlete in Indianapolis history, Peyton.

And I watched that news conference that day. And I saw dorky, goofy, weird Hip Dad Jim crying. He knew he had to do what he was doing. It would be absolutely fucking insane to keep Peyton, pay him a 28 million dollar roster bonus, and pass on Luck without even knowing if Peyton would ever be truly healthy.

And yeah. That's the price of doing business. But it tore both of them up. Both knew what Peyton meant to Colts Nation and what being a Colt did for Manning. Hip Dad Jim wasn't concerned about looking hip that day. He didn't care. He was in tears. And so was the Prized and Beloved Son Peyton.

Hip Dad Jim.....could have taken the easy way out. He could have passed on Luck and paid Peyton the money. And if Peyton never healed and Luck was in another town, he wouldn't have gotten ripped for it. He would have been lauded for "being loyal". But foolishness hidden behind sentiment isn't loyalty, it's propaganda. It would have been the easy way out.

Hip Dad made the tough decision. And he's been bearing the ire of Colts fans since that day. Colts season tickets sales have come to a halt. Hip Dad did the right thing, and sadly, sometimes the right thing costs a lot in the short run.

Colts fans, be proud of Hip Dad Jim. He's quirky, he's dorky, and he makes you roll your eyes. But when the future of YOUR team was in his hands, he had the balls to do the right thing for the Colts. It hurts to see Peyton go--but at the end of the day, realize that Peyton could have pushed back the date for that roster bonus and didn't.

After that press conference, Jim became Hip Dad Jim again, trying to convince us--for whatever reason--that Luck wasn't a lock for them. I think this was Hip Dad Jim's awkward way of paying proper respect to a kid he did like as well, Robert Griffin lll. Nobody bought it and we all rolled our eyes at Hip Dad Jim.

Such a dork...... LOL And when RG3 declined to work out for the Colts, we really rolled our eyes. We couldn't believe Hip Dad Jim even asked him to work out. That Hip Dad...sheesh....

Now let's look at the NFL's answer to Cool Dad.

Pete Carroll.

We all bought into this guy, didn't we?

But it was soooooooooooooo easy to do that. Pete was the ultimate redemption story.

In 2000, one of the NCAA's most prized programs, USC, was a mess. And USC did a coaching search to find someone to replace Paul Hackett, who had been fired. And they took a chance on Carroll, a fired NFL head coach.

And he turned the program back into a powerhouse within two years. And we all loved it--or Pete, to be honest. He wasn't really a failed NFL head coach. He was a .500 NFL head coach. He was fun, the players loved him, he was good-looking as all fuck (trust me male readers, he is), he was charming, and quite frankly, the cameras loved him.

Now before we go any further, 90 percent of what Carroll did was legit. He did turn USC into a recruiting giant. He did turn the program around and into a national power. No doubt, USC was so strong due to what Carroll did in those early years that it survived harsh NCAA sanctions. Well, at least it survived partially due to what Carroll did.

You know the story. USC won a ton of games, dominated the Pac-10 (now Pac-12) forever, and won a couple of national titles. All from a guy the university had fourth on its wish list.

Funny how at the time, this wasn't a popular hire. Remember, Cool Dad Pete wasn't a great NFL success. And he had been out of college coaching since 1983. But Cool Dad Pete turned USC--and his career--around 180 degrees.

Cool Dad Pete was a blast, too. He loved to prank his own team. One Halloween, he and his running back LenDale White, staged a fake argument during practice. A few minutes later, somebody held up a dummy with LenDale's jersey on top of the building next to the practice field and LenDale "jumped" off the roof.

All was good. Man, Cool Dad Pete was awesome!

Then one day, the Reggie Bush scandal broke. And the NCAA came down hard on USC. Because of a self-entitled little cheater like Bush, USC got fucked. And the only reason that Bush's violations came to light was because he didn't honor the agreement he had made and he was sued. In other words, Reggie tried to cheat out the guy who had helped him cheat to begin with.

Anyway, the Trojans were stripped of their BCS title, USC haters had a field day and Trojan fans gritted their teeth and took their medicine. (which is more than Ohio State fans ever fucking did, oh by the way).

And when his family was in trouble, when the family that gave him a second chance needed him, Cool Dad Pete suddenly decided that it was time to accept one of those offers to return to the NFL and hightailed his ass to Seattle. Funny how Cool Dad Pete turned down so many NFL offers until that one day. Cool Dad Pete says that was just a coincidence.

I think Cool Dad Pete is bullshitting us--not that we really care now, do we?

So USC got that weird uncle who always puts his foot in his mouth, Lane Kiffin, to come back. Oh, University of TN fans pissed themselves in phony anger when Weird Uncle Lane left, but come on. They hated Weird Uncle Lane the second he became their head coach. They were thrilled to get rid of a guy who wasn't a "Volunteer Guy".

The most important family member, other than Uncle Lane, was Prized Son Matt. As in Barkley. The prized son could have left, and no doubt could have gotten the NCAA to waive the one year wait-to-play requirement.

Prized Son Matt would have had just about every university in this country coming to him like NBA teams came hat-in-hand to LeBron James a few years ago.

It would've been easy. No one, not one person, would've blamed Barkley if he left.

But Barkley didn't leave like Cool Dad Pete did. Barkley, whose college career would be so unfairly affected by the selfish and arrogant actions of Reggie Bush, stayed. And not only did Barkley stay, he embraced Weird Uncle Lane.

And that's not all. The prized son went to his teammates and convinced THEM to stay. He convinced them that they could hang together, get through the sanctions, and keep USC a viable, strong football program.

And a funny thing happened. USC kept putting it's foot up just about every team's ass that it played. Barkley got better and better. And now, after losing so many scholarships that they had to limit tackling in practice to avoid injuries the past couple of years, USC will enter the 2012 college football season as a favorite to win it all.

All of a sudden, Weird Uncle Lane doesn't seem all that weird now. And Prized Son Matt is more prized and loved than ever.

Had Cool Dad Pete stayed, imagine what his legend would be. Had he chosen the harder road, imagine his legacy. But he bailed. Cool Dads are never really, truly evil. They're not truly bad, evil guys.

But unlike Hip Dad, Cool Dad never realizes when playtime's over. Hip Dad stumbles all over himself, but in the end, tries his best to do the right thing.

Cool Dad doesn't. He's lovable. He's fun. He's nice and he's charming. But Hip Dad, he's the guy who ends up delivering.

Pete Carroll isn't a terrible guy. He's not even the reason for USC's troubles. And he did far more good than bad. His only crime was running too casual an environment. Fuck, you can't have every player tailed by a private detective. The real reason is Bush. He tried to get paid early and cost USC a national title and much more. But this happened on Cool Dad Pete's watch.

USC is better off that Carroll was there. But this goes both ways. Carroll is better off now than when he wasn't a hot property and needed and wanted a major university to take a chance on him. And when that university needed him to stay, he did not. He went to South America with his hot secretary.

Hip Dad Jim stayed. He made the hard choice. Indy is better off for it.

And despite all of this, I still like Carroll. He's funny. He's still Cool Dad. It's how he rolls. But I admire Hip Dad Jim so much more. I trust Hip Dad Jim. Cool Dad Pete is still the likable guy we've always known. But Hip Dad Jim is trustworthy. Hip Dad....he took care of his family.

Cool Dad Pete took care of himself.

You remember how I mentioned that Hip Dad really never got over leaving high school? Well, Cool Dad never really DID leave high school in his mind.

But in a year or so, we'll all roll our eyes at Hip Dad Jim's goofy Twitter statements, blame him for the Colts inevitable era of losing as they rebuild, and we'll smile at that old rascal Cool Dad Pete when he pranks Marshawn Lynch by putting moth balls in his Skittles.

Kids, it's just how we roll. And that says far more about us than it does them, doesn't it?

Wouldn't You Like To Be A Pepper Too?

Dr. Pepper, drink Dr. Pepper......

Wah-sup, motherfuckers? I'll tell you wah-sup! You wanna know? Okay, this is wah-sup......

MOTHERFUCK CARP!

That's wah-sup!

And no, I'm NOT going to get tired of saying that any time soon. In fact, I'm probably NEVER going to get tired of saying that. And you're not tired of reading it, either. Admit it.

Me and my boy, Ron Washington, are all about motherfuck Carp! And you should be too! It'll add peace, balance, and harmony to your lives. Say it a few times. You'll feel better. Much better. Open your minds, motherfuckers.

I bet even the man who inspired this great phrase, Chris Carpenter, is going around saying, "Motherfuck Carp!" I would be!

Bitch ass motherfuckah brought it to da hizzy, motherfuck Carp gits mah mind all a-bizzy!

You know, sometimes that repeating yourself to get your way doesn't work. Rarely works on the boyfriend, and even less on the hubby. My properties don't bend as easily as my boss.

Me: "Property, buy me a new car."

Husband: "Quit calling me property and no, you only have 55,000 miles on your current one."

Me: "Property, buy me a new car."

Husband: "No."

Well, that's fucked. Then again, I probably shouldn't have asked for a Porsche.

Note to Blogger: If I say I don't want to add my cell phone to this account, don't give me some fucking pop-up window asking if I'm sure, okay? And I'm sick of this question popping up again and again. If I WANTED to do this, I WOULD HAVE by now.

Oh, fine, here's my cell: 555-Fuc-Koff.

Another note to Blogger: Your new interface sucks dick. I hate it. Quit switching my layout to the new one. It's just annoying when I have to keep opting to use the old--better--interface.

Why do companies like Google and Microsuck insist on forcing new shit down their customers throats?

Okay, that's about it for this lame-ass entry. Really, I just cobbled a few things together....because....it's time....it's time! That's right!

Buccaneer Lori makes her return!

Well, that and I just wanted to say "motherfuck Carp!" a few times...

Until next time, motherfuckers!

Hey....

....what's up, motherfuckers? '

MOTHERFUCK CARP! Still awesome.....what a line. I love Ron Washington. I loved that pregame speech.

Some people took offense when that tape was leaked. I thought it was awesome. To the very oh-so-sensitive ones out there, here's a little tiny piece of info: THAT'S HOW THEY TALK IN LOCKER ROOMS!

Fucking A. That just made me respect the man all that much more. Anybody who took offense to this speech must get hard or wet about things like "everybody gets a worthless trophy day" and "we shouldn't grade students".

Seriously, man. It's fucking sports, that's how they roll, and if you don't like it, go listen to some fucking symphony after your metrosexual seminar. Hit "The Vagina Monologues" with David and Victoria Beckham.

Toughen up, Greta. If this wounds you so much, stop watching sports. Ballet may be your thing (and you can cry there, too!).

But if you keep complaining.....me and my new great friend--and obvious Lair visitor, Ron---got something to say!

MOTHERFUCK CARP!

I am LOVING Jeremy Lin! Linsanity, baby! It's fun, it's perking up a too-packed NBA schedule, and it's exciting. He's a great kid and it's a great story. The ultimate underdog getting his shot. I hope it keeps going. If you don't like Lin, you probably have the Beckhams on speed dial to arrange emergency trips to the shopping mall.

Got me a nice, long weekend. Started today. Y-E-S! Motherfuck Carp!

Me happy. Me like time off. Me don't know why me even bothers working. Me don't gotta. Me must be a glutton for punishment.

I don't get online to chat much. I know a good amount of people and get my chat from Facebook and from some people I already have on my chat list.

But I'll venture into a chat room on occasion, and sure enough, you'll get a bunch of guys assuming that you're there for an orgasm only they can provide. Not all guys are like this, of course. But a lot are. And so are a lot of women.

Invariably, I'll get an IMs from "hey wanna play?" guys and I'll decline, saying that I'm not there for sex. And there's always that one who'll say, "rats" or utter some other declaration of disappointment.

If only I was there for sex! Surely, I'd do it with THAT guy! I love how "that guy" assumes that it would've taken a female more than ten seconds to find a playmate. And I love how "that guy" assumes that I'd just play with him.

Then there's the guy who wants to hook up offline. Usually, these geniuses don't even look at profiles to find out where I actually, you know, live. It amazes me that even in chat rooms some fuckface will IM and ask this. Yeah, I'll just run off and meet some clown like this.

Personally, if I met a guy and we really hit it off, I could see myself maybe getting some action off of him. But it would take a long time. And believe me, I'd develop an offline relationship with him first--coffee, lunches, etc. Still, it's not my S.O.P.

Sheesh. The mentality of some people when they get into a chat room, though.

Hubby's being put to work. He gets to slide on the sex during NASCAR season. Not when it's NASCAR's off-season. No, sorry honey!

So, last night, he did his duty, and quite well, I must say. But....maybe too good of a job? Yeah, I woke up this morning ready for more. So....hand down his boxers.....

Husband: "Let me sleep."

Me: "No. You're working from home, so you have to pay for that. Quit talking back, property."

Husband: "Sorry, all tapped out. Call your boyfriend."
Me: "He's fucking his wife. You do the same, motherfucking hubby."

Husband: "Let. Me. Sleep. And quit using that word."

Me: "What word? "Wife?"

Husband: "Motherfucker, you lunatic."

Me.: "Alex wants to motherfucking fuck you."

And that did it. He was at full attention. Like any guy with a sane mind, he thinks Alex is cuter than cute, and hotter than hot. So I climbed aboard and "did the work", so to speak. Hey, you gotta meet people halfway, right?

Anyway, it didn't take me long to hit the high note and I knew how to make him hit it too. I kept rocking back and forth and said, "I can't wait to double team you with Alex."

And that was that. He ended up starting work later than he had planned, but hey, it wasn't like he had to drive in to work (as he had already "driven-in" somewhere else!)

Would you like fries with that?

I enjoy having a steady bf and hubby. It really IS the best of both worlds. Throw in some cute girls, and well, I'm a happy motherfucking chick. Sometimes a little tired, but happy nonetheless.

Orgasms good. More orgasms better. Food best of all.

I MUST say congratulations to my friends, Shelly and Janey. They recently moved in together at "The House" (Shells moved into Janey's giant, all-encompassing room).

Actually, I don't really HAVE to. But I'm a wonderful, giving person. What can I say? I love those two motherfuckers.

I think they should just shut down Yahoo! at this point. It's clear these fucks don't know what they're doing.

First, they closed down 360, a wonderful platform. I loved 360. But these arrogant assholes knew better. Then, when they shut down 360, they shut down their regular profile system.

When they shut down 360, they promised that everyone could export their blogs. Of course, they're shitty export tool didn't work and everybody lost their blog content.

So they shut down the regular profiles and introduced some POS called "Pulse". "Pulse" must mean "parasite" in Latin, because all it did was suck off FB, Twitter, and Blogspot feeds. Oh, you could add friends, too.

Then you lost the ability to actually, you know, CONTACT your friends! WTF? Then, not long ago, I went to check my Pulse page and saw that it had been replaced with some standard profile platform. All your friends were gone. Now they call it "Yahoo! Profile". Wow, what creative mind thought of THAT?

I'd call it, "Bland POS Yahsuck! Profile". Useless, like everything else on Yahoo.

You couldn't add friends. Just an info page. I went to my profile page and found that this stupid thing doesn't even completely work. When I clicked the "More Info" tab, it wouldn't open.

Unbelievable. No wonder other social networking systems are kicking the snot out of it!

Oh, and when I went to my profile from the YahSuck Messenger module, I had to sign in. I guess signing INTO Messensucker wasn't enough.

Fuck you, Yahoo. I hope you assholes go out of business. You're nothing but arrogant, know-nothing losers. Again, fuck you. Anybody who makes AOL look great in comparison is truly the bottom of the barrel.

When 360 was still around, I DID have one problem. You could post your own pick as the background. It was great. People loved it. And there was one of me I posted at a yacht club in Florida. It show a teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy bit of nipple. So they kept taking it off. Needless to say, this royally pissed me off. They gave me shit over another couple of pics as well.

So Teri put up a full frontal nude pic of herself for her background to see what they'd do. They never said a word. She had it up for like a year.

Unreal.

A month or so ago, the law office I run with an iron fist moved into a spacious new pad. A few weeks before we moved, one of the senior partners came into my office and said, "C'mon. We're going to the new place."

Fuck yeah. But why?

Boss In Name Only: We want you to pick your office.

Me: Why? You didn't already assign me a closet?

BINO: We don't want to hear you complain by choosing yours. We have two from you to choose from.

Me: Only two?
BINO: Uh huh.

Me: Okay, but Lindsay's coming with us.

BINO: We picked out her work area already.

Me: Lindsay's coming with us.

BINO: Fine. I apologize for not realizing this.

Me: That's okay.

Fucking bosses. They're like your parents: you TELL them, you don't ASK them. And you let them know that if they say no, you're going to do it behind their backs anyway, so they might as well just fucking say yes and spare themselves the headache. Seems simple enough to me.

So I went and grabbed Lindsay (she's my former assistant when I ran Accounts Payable/Receivable who now runs Accounts Payable/Receivable). I wanted her to have an idea of where she wanted what. I thought that was only fair.

Lindsay is another example of telling, not asking, your boss/bosses.

When I became the office manager, I wanted Lindsay. So when they asked if I wanted the "interim" taken off my title, I said sure.

Then I told BINO I wanted Lindsay to move up.

Me: Lindsay is taking my old job.

BINO: Lindsay hasn't graduated from college and she doesn't have enough experience.

Me: Lindsay is taking my old job.

BINO: No, Lindsay hasn't graduated from college.

Me: I can do this all day. Ask my husband.

BINO: Fine, as long as she finishes (her degree) this semester and you'd better help her learn the job. Anything to shut you up. We hate Ryan for recommending you.

Me: She will. I will. Get me some coffee.

See, it's important to repeat your demand. In both instances I did this. Sometimes they give up after you restate how it's going to be. Sometimes you have to work at it.

One warning: Don't do this type of thing if you suck at your job. If you're good at your job, most bosses will let you stomp on their heads and kick them repeatedly in the crotch because it's too hard to replace an effective employee.

Back to the new digs. There were two nice offices left. One would be mine, the other a mini-conference room. One was a bigger office that was really nice. The other was a corner office that was slightly smaller. I took the corner office. All the attorneys had some windows in their offices, by the way. I like it when things go my way.

Personally, I should've had the biggest office there, but being difficult to deal with can only take you so far.

Lindsay's work area met with my--and her--approval.

But me happy. Me like my corner office. Me deserve my corner office. Me is glad my bosses are afraid of me. Me like intimidation.

You.....got a problem with that?

Awesome!

Hey motherfuckers, is your girl Lori right about the whole "motherfucker" thing or not?

Texas Rangers' manager, Ron Washington is OBVIOUSLY a visitor to the Lair! Don't believe me?

Check it out for yourself!

Ron Washington's Game 7 Clubhouse Speech from JoeSportsFan.com on Vimeo.

"Motherfuck Carp!" AWESOME! He used it as a verb! I LOVE IT!

Hey Ron? Scarface called and said that your pregame speech was great!

Seriously, Ron, it's an honor to know that you're a regular visitor to the Lair!

Hope all your motherfuckers had a great Monday! Enjoy your fucking selves! Man, motherfuck everything!

Saturday Night

At da "House".

Hubby's away, so I got my ass over here around two and stayed. Shells came over as well. College football, baby.

Hmmmmmmmm.....some new faces here, I see. Welcome to the Lair. There is no escape.

Unless, of course, you leave. I'm not too good at false imprisonment.

So we're all watching the LSU/Alabama game (the Empress of Mitziezonia wasn't too thrilled with the result). And sometime during the third quarter, Janey falls asleep on the couch.

Alex, being insanely mischievous, leaves the room and comes back with a mascara pencil. And an evil smile. She waltzes over to Janey, pencil in hand--and who knows what she was going to write on her forehead--and enters "Evil Alex" mode.

Then it happened.

Janey's took her hand from behind her back, opened her eyes, and pointed a water pistol at Alex. And not just any water pistol. It was Alex' water pistol. The same pistol Alex had been tormenting everybody with--especially Janey--the past couple of months.

"FREEZE!"

"Oh shit!"

And with that, a Cuban-American started chasing a Swedish-American up the stairs. We heard a lot of laughing, some "bitch!", some "up yours!", etc.... Finally, we heard, "Truce?" "Truce."

When they came down, Janey's forehead had a bunch of mascara marks and Alex' shirt and shorts were soaked. But it wasn't over.

Janey still had the gun. She looked at Alex and smiled. "Say bye-bye."

The blonde's eyes grew wide, the horrible realization that her beloved water pistol was about to be destroyed.

For this was no ordinary water pistol. No, this one had a big tank on top. We're talking at least two bucks here.

Janey's foot went up, prepared to demolish the blonde's pride and joy.

"No! I'll do anything!"

"You have to promise not to shoot us anymore."

The blonde paused. She could save "Matilda" (yes, she named it), but.....at what cost? But there was no choice. There was no out.

She lowered her head.

"I promise to not not shoot any of you anymore." Yeah, she tried the old double-negative. It didn't fool Janey. Perhaps if Janey were, oh two, maybe.

Shelly and I were captivated by this. Ryan, CG and Mitzie, oddly enough, weren't. Shelly grabbed my arm. I grabbed her arm back. We had to fight back tears as these formerly great friends were staring each other down over the fate of Matilda the water pistol.

The blonde then looked up, the evil smile had returned. "Can I shoot Nick?"

Janey thought about it. "Sure!"

And Matilda the water pistol was saved.....

And Janey handed Matilda back to her rightful owner. The friends hugged. Janey ran to the bathroom. And Evil Alex held the mascara pencil up and smiled.

It was a very evil smile.

Then her husband looked at her. "Alex, behave." "FINE! You never let me have ANY fun!"

Ten minutes later, the blonde and the Cuban were snuggled up on the couch together. I guess adversity CAN bring two friends closer together!

Couple Days Off

Thankfully!

----Anyway, I was thinking about how cool it was if we all started calling people "motherfucker".

I mean, you want some fast food and pull into the drive-through and the voice comes out, "Thank you for visiting Garbageburger, motherfucker. Would you like to try our new double Landfill Burger today?"

And then you'd say, "No thank you, motherfucker. I just want the Quarter Pound Crapburger, no onions and a large order of fries."

"Okay, that's one Quarter Pound Crapburger and a large fry. That'll be $7.60 at the first window, motherfucker."

Then you pull up and hand the attendant your debit card or cash and she hands you the receipt and says, "Thank you, motherfucker. Please pull up to the front window."

Just a thought.

----I was at FSU for two weeks when I met Jack and started dating him. One day, he made a dare and I accepted it. Luckily, we were on a deserted stretch of highway. And Jack lasted about a month. Whatever.

----I have some days to burn off before the end of the year, and I'm going to enjoy using them. I can't believe that a part-time bookkeeping job turned into, well, this.

That could be a good entry. College dropout to medical secretary to medical office technician to part-time legal bookkeeper to full-time legal bookkeeper to legal office manager.

Actually, it WAS an entry back in the 360 days. So it shouldn't be too hard to write it up again.

----Speaking of boyfriend, we just celebrated four years of extramarital bliss! I met Ryan in October, 2007. A few months later, I met his wife, Alex.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......talk about a subject for another entry.

----I really wish the wives of my male slaves (excepting Alexandra, of course), would kindly allow their husbands time away to have sex with me. I find it quite rude that Tom's and Nick's wives don't allow their husbands some personal time. I mean, c'mon. How are they supposed to get some on the side?

----Get this. My hubby isn't a huge fan of one particular NASCAR driver. He likes a lot of them. But apparently a lot of NASCAR fans pick a driver and root for him. So hubby and his buddies are at a restaurant in Charlotte grabbing some dinner on Friday night.

Now, my hubby's in his fifties and extremely good-looking. So he gets hit on at times. So he called me from the restaurant and tells me this really cute waitress is hitting on him. I tell him to have fun if he wants to cash in.

He didn't. Something just didn't feel right about it. He couldn't put his finger on it, so to speak. But he made the right call. If your gut is telling you something, it's usually best to listen.

Okay, that's it. Until I post again, take care, motherfuckers.

If It's Sept, Must Be Time For Another Post!

Several months ago, Tom--one of my boyfriends--and I were kicking it in bed after a nice little romp. We started talking about fetishes, turn-ons, and that type of thing.

And I asked him about tats. I think that's a big guy thing--nailing a chick with some tats. Of course he said yeah, he really liked that look. Hey, Ryan is too. Alex, of course, wouldn't get near a needle to get a tattoo, not that he'd ask her to.

And you know what? Neither would I. That's why they make temporary tats! I ordered a few online and needless to say, Tom loved it.

And I reaped the benefits of that for a few hours.

So what's new?

Well, remember how I made mention back in January of being the "office-manager-in-waiting"? Yeah, well, a few months ago, that changed. I'm now the official office manager.

As for Lindsay, my then-assistant, she graduated from college and took over my job full-time.

And she let me fuck her.

Okay, she didn't. But she is adorable. And I was so happy that everything came out the way it did. She had graduated and started looking for work. I was scared that I was going to lose her, but I couldn't ask her to stick around just on the possibility that I'd get promoted and my job would open up for her.

But Brad eventually did move back to Seattle and I took over, and Lindsay moved up. We ended up hiring another student named Barry to take Lindsay's old job0--which was my first job at the Law Offices of Blah & Blah.

What, you expected a "Dewey, Cheatem & Howe" joke?

Hubby's doing fine. He's NASCARing like crazy again. Hey, why not? He's paid his dues career-wise and can afford to play. He works hard during the week and then it's off to the races. It's his dream to buy into a racing team. I don't know if it'll ever happen, but maybe I could personally interview potential drivers for his team?

Yeah, he said "No." Grrrrrrrrrr! Always ruining my fun!

Anyway, I guess I could make a lot of sexually-oriented puns involving cars and engines, but I guess I'll pass on that.

Although there are a couple of drivers whose crankshafts......

Sorry.

I get asked a lot about hubby and our situation. But yes, he knows that I'm not Little Miss Faithful. There's a bit of a story to the whole thing. But I do love him. And I'll explain a little more about him and how we met and all in a future entry.

"When will that be, Lori? Next May?"

Shaddup!

I also get asked a lot if I'm worried about somebody I know coming across this blog. Not really. Hubby cums...er comes....here, of course. As for like family and coworkers, I'm not too concerned.

"Lori" is a play on my middle name, it's not my first name. And I cut out my face and all that (which, for some reason, people don't really mind one bit....huh.....).

So what's going on at The House? Pretty much same-old, same-old. Which is odd to say when talking about group sex. Janey moving up has been a blast. She's incredible in bed.

The first time I met Janey was back in the Yahoo 360 days. I went to her profile and nearly came when I saw her profile. Soon we were talking back on forth on the message section and then got on the phone for some mutual pleasure. Well, mutual self-pleasure. We both came a couple of times. From then on, we got together on cam or phone on a pretty consistent basis.

Mitzie and her girlfriend CG are doing great. They celebrated they're two-month anniversary this past June. And I thought Mitzie was too young to settle into a relationship like that. Hey, I'm glad I was wrong. They're perfect for each other (and both look fantastic naked).

I'm still hooking up with Nick, as is Alex. Like Ryan, the dude can flat out fuck. Trouble is, with a wife and kids, it's tough for him to get away. Alex goes down on occasion and they fuck on his lunch hour--er hours--but I don't work from home like a certain blonde sexbomb does, so advantage Alex.

But one day, I'm going down to Marietta with Alex and give Nicky-boy a surprise threesome. Hopefully very, very soon.

Tom and I haven't made it back to those tennis courts yet! But I have fucked him several times at his place. Wifey-poo has been working the night shift (Ryan's always talking about fucking wives in their beds, the beds those hubbies sleep in and how cool it is.

He's right. I love banging Tom there. Sure, that's the evil part of me saying that, but it's still cool. Poaching isn't only for men!

So once in awhile we'll set it up so that I'll wait for his call after work. When he gives me the coast is clear text, I zip over and we have an hour of so of fun. She usually heads off to work around three, so it's usually not a problem. A bit risky, but hey....

Oh yeah......

I get asked about videos. Don't. I have them, I'll never post 'em. They're a pain. Alex posted one and said that she'd never do it again.

Can't say that I blame her.

Okay, I'm outtie! See you in 2014!

Or sooner.....who knows....

Hello Again, Hello!

LOL

In my last entry, I was babbling about how I hadn't made a non-sports entry for ten or so months and then wait a month to make another one.

Hey, what can I say? I'm a busy girl! Three boytoys and countless girltoys tends to take up one's time!

Well, that and fuck, I've been working two jobs. LOL

Actually, that's misleading. About a month ago, the office manager, Brad, had a family emergency and had to fly back to Oregon. I really didn't get any details about what was going on. Besides, it was none of my business anyway.

Brad's cool. He's the one who promoted me to replace Janet to run the accounts payable/receiveable department last year. He's always been very cool to me.

Anyway, when he left, one of the partners, Bret (I work for a law practice), asked if I could be the interim office manager for a couple of weeks. I'd have to split time between my normal job and the interim stuff, but got approval to give my assistant, Lindsay, more hours (she's a part-time employee).

Lindsay was down with that. She was between semesters and loved getting the extra hours.

So Brad got back after a couple of weeks--THANKFULLY--and things got back to normal. About a week later, he came by my office to talk.

It turns out that Brad and his wife (I hate her--because of her, I can't fuck Brad....Joking!) will be staying in the Atlanta area for now. But he isn't sure of his long-term plans. So he talked to Bret and they agreed that I should be trained to take over if Brad has to leave down the road.

Yeah, I went from "interim" to "office manager in waiting". No extra money, yet. Blah! LOL Nah, it's a great compliment, it really is.

So what's going down, sex-wise? Get it? What's "going down"? LOL No? Nothing? Tough room!

Well, as many regulars to Lori's Lair know, my hubby's a CFO and a bit older than I am. And he's a NASCAR fanatic. And when NASCAR season starts, he and a couple of his buddies fly to the races. That's when I realllllllllllllly get busy!

But when he isn't NASCARing (I totally made that word up!), I curtail my activities and spend more time with him. Fair's fair!

I mean, I manage to get some time in with my playmates, of course. Just not quite as much as usual! It's usually less socializing at "The House" and more just sex. That's fine, of course, but I love my bf and his wife and love spending non-sex time with them as well.

I'm still seeing Tom, the guy I met at the University of Phoenix. LOL Last July, his wife was home and so was my husband. So we were talking on-line one night and we were both in the mood, but had no place to meet.

Well, I had an idea! There's a park nearby called Wills Park. We decided to meet there. I grabbed a blanket, told my hubby I'd be back in a few, and drove over.

I met him in the parking lot, but my plan was foiled. I had been thinking we could fuck on the baseball diamond there.

Too bad there was a fucking league game going on! LOL Shit! Then he looked over at the tennis courts. Hmmmmmm.......

Why not? The lights were all off. Those courts were rarely used that night. They had wind screens covering the courts. And I was sooooooo in the mood.

So we went over and found something really cool: benches between each court. And those benches didn't have a back on them. Oh yeah, that would work nicely!

We started making out and then stripped. I love fucking outdoors. This was pretty risky, though. Anybody could just walk up to the control panel and flip on all the lights! But I didn't care. I needed a little risk!

I took the blanket and draped it over the bench and had him sit down. Then I warmed up his cock with some nice sucking and licking. Then it was my turn. I laid on my back on this tiny bench and Tom licked me until I came.

After I came, we looked around and made sure an audience hadn't gathered. No, we were still alone. And this guy needed to cum.

We looked at the bench again. Just too small.

So I took the blanket and folded it in half and laid it down. Then I got on all fours and let him fuck me doggy-style. He managed to last for about five minutes--sometimes, folks, it's quality and not quantity--and after I came again, he shoved his cock into me one more time and came.

Fuck, it was so hot.

We considered going at it again, but we had already pushed out luck. I definitely could've used more. But, again....why push it?

So we got dressed, walked to our cars, kissed, and went home.

And to think, I've never really that big of a tennis fan until that night!

So What Is Up?

Arghghggh! The Tampa Bay Bucs be sailin' towards winning waters again!

Ten or eleven fucking months since I made a non-sports post? What the fuck? Anybody still around? Anybody even care anymore? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, that's for sure.

Anyway, a few weekends ago, me, Shells, Mitzie, Janine, Kellie, and Nick were up at R & L's (or as we call it now, "The House"). During a break in the action, Mitzie, Alex, Shelly and I were bouncing ideas off each other about our blogs. Janine looked at us and said, "How about this? You guys actually MAKE an entry on your blogs! Helloooooooooooooooooooooo!"

And that's Janine. She's a nut. And honest. Don't ask her a question unless you want a brutally honest answer. Gotta love her. Great in bed, too!

She was right, of course. All of us chickie-boos have neglected our blogs, for one reason or another. Mitzie's been trying to claw her way up the corporate ladder, Shelly's been living the life of a happy-to-be free divorced woman, and Alex has been taking care of her own business (which thankfully includes me).

And me?

Congratulate my Irish ass! I finished up my degree! Woohooo! Finished up the end of summer! Finally, I can put that in my rear view mirror!

LMAO It only took sixteen years, classes at Florida State, the University of South Florida and the University of Phoenix....but it's finally fucking done!

And about work?

Well, when I started at this job (a law practice) a couple of years ago, it was a part-time position. I worked between 25 and 35 hours a week for several months. Then it shifted to full-time. It was a basic bookkeeping position, working with accounts payable and receivable.

I was working for a lady named Janet. She ran the whole department (which was her and me). Well, about two months ago, she retired. Guess who took her place?

Woohoo, I did! As Alex might say, "Yay for me!"

And I even got to hire my OWN assistant! I hired an adorable girl to work around 25 hours a week. She's an accounting student and so sweet and smart. I wish I didn't have to keep my hands to myself!

There are two types of employees: those that create headaches, and those that make your work life easier. She definitely makes things easier.

I've also been busy with a new guy. Well, not new. You remember that guy I mentioned in the last entry, the one that I slept with late last year? Well, shorty after posting that, we were talking on-line. He was interested in a repeat performance.

I figured, why not? Yeah, I wasn't overly impressed with our first meeting. But at first you don't succeed, right?

So at the end of January, we got together at his place. His wife and kids were away and Fucking A. He must've just had an off day, so to speak, the first time we met! He was awesome!

We spent the weekend together naked. Fucked in every room in the house. Fucked in the pool and fucked in the jacuuzi. By the time Sunday night came, I was exhausted. Exhausted but happy.

We've been meeting on a semi-regular basis since then. His name's Tom, and between him, Nick, my boyfriend and husband, I have four guys keeping me happy. Sure, one or two more might be nice, but shit, don't want to be greedy! LOL

Speaking of greedy.....

Shelly and I have gotten into a nice little routine. About once every month, month and a half, we hit a lez bar in the area and try to find a girl (or girls) to spend the night with us at a hotel.

Gotta tell you, I fucking love this.

We like My Sister's Room and Bellissima. And we've been lucky just about every time.

Our plan is pretty much the same every time. We go down, get a couple of drinks, and do some dancing. We scope out the bar and dance with different cute girls for awhile. When one of us feels that she's found a really nice, cute girl, she'll invite her to join us for a drink.

We talk for a bit and then make the offer. Sometimes the first one says yes. More often than not, we have to talk to a few different cuties. We haven't run into anybody that's been offended, though, so that's a good thing. But we almost always find someone.

Then we head off to a motel and have fun for several hours.

I love just picking up a girl--especially with Shelly--and just getting down and dirty and then saying goodbye when it's all over. Really reminds me of college.

I'll tell you this: you'd be surprised at how many married women we find. A lot get out when their husband's working or out of town or whatever. We met one lady in her forties who had been married, in her words, "forever." Her kids are grown and out of the house. She told us that she's been going out and picking up girls since her first year of marriage. LOL Hubby has no clue.

That kinda sucks. I mean, she isn't hurting him or anything. She just likes being with a woman on occasion. We didn't find out why she never told him. She turned down our invite but was flattered. She prefers one on one. That's cool. Before she left, she gave us her email. We've had lunch with her a couple of times.

LOL We've asked her to join us each time we've seen her. The last time she laughed and said we were persistent. Shelly said, "Well, persistence pays off!"

Before she left the last time, Cynthia laughed and said "Maybe next time."

Hey, check out the greatest remake EVER! Carlos Santana and Chris Daughtry covering Def Leppard's "Photograph".

Take it easy!

Thoughts On LeBron.....

A pissy, myopic fan base loses an overrated player. I think you know how Buccaneer Lori is going to react.

BL Posts Again.

There are just some things I don't get.....

BL Takin' Names!

WHAT? BQ traded to Denver? The Glazers are idiots? I have no clue as to what this Buccaneer Lori chick is talkin' about!

Buccaneer Lori Returns!

BL's boy, Derek Anderson, was released this past week. And he created a stir with what he said. Of course, BL totally agrees with him!

Note: Browns fans, you're probably too delicate to handle this, so scroll down and look at my lezzie bath pictures!

Heh.

Buccaneer Lori Pimps Kevin Kolb.

So who is Kevin Kolb? Why should Cleveland fans be foaming at the mouth to get him? Why does Buccaneer Lori think he's a future NFL star? And how could Cleveland get him?

Don't ask me.

Ask Buccaneer Lori.

BL In Da House Agaiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn......

Buccaneer Lori is back and rips Phil Fulmer a new asshole! If it's possible to rip a new asshole on an existing asshole.....

I'm Back!

You good folks remember this pic from my Yahoo! days?

Good. I'll be posting more later in this entry. That wasn't the only pic that was taken that night!

Wow. Been too long. What can I say?

I hope everybody had a happy holiday season. Hubby and I traveled down to St. Pete and visited my parents. Two of my brothers and their families made it down as well! So great seeing them all again! It's tough when family is spread out across the country! I have four brothers and they're all over the place! Don't those guys know I own them and have since I was hatched?!?!?!?! LOL

My job's still going great. Now I'm pretty much full-time. There was this guy who came in the other day.....a client....man, I'd love to strap on my knee pads and.....well, nevermind. I do love my job. BF was awesome for getting for me! I'll have to reprint the entry I posted on Yahoo! about it.

We don't get to fuck clients. What kinda stupid rule is THAT?

Been banging the bf quite a bit. Kinda like old times. LOL BF's wife, my baby girl Alex, has been fucking Nick quite a bit. I think she's wearing him out. LOL Of course, that leaves plenty of time for her hubby to take care of his main girlfriend, which is me, of course.

Anyway, the group stuff has been slow, lately. That's how things go. People get busy.....spouses get suspicious (note to Bev and Ashley: learn to lie better! LOL). We're looking for some more get-togethers soon, though.

Shelly got divorced from her hubby last year. I never really got along that great with Brian, her ex. We were cool at the outset, but I think he thought I monopolized her time. Maybe he was right, but he was fucking a chick on the side, so I don't want to fucking hear it from him. Of course, Shells was fucking my b/f, so I guess it all evens out.

I mean, when we originally met, we were cool. He watched me and Shells go at it a few times (as did my hubby). But I think he had a real issue with the emotional ties Shelly and I developed. I mean, we really love each other. Last Valentine's Day, I sent her some flowers with a card that said, "I'll love you forever."

Shit hit the fan. His reaction totally shocked her, and me, for that matter. I mean, he knew I loved her. I've been seeing her since early 2008, for fuck's sake. We spend a ton of free time together. But he was pissed that I loved her. He's sticking his dick in some 20 year old chick with huge hooters, yet is upset that I adore his wife. Things started spiraling downhill from that point. I mean, that whole deal was symptomatic of the problems that were already there.

Imagine had he found out that she was into group sex. LMAO

I'll tell you this: he didn't mind stroking it while watching Shells and I going at it. I really didn't mind being watched either. Cool watching a guy cum while he watches you. And I liked the idea that she wanted him to see her like that. It was kinda like he was in the loop.

Apparently, not enough, huh?

Anyway, they got divorced and, like many divorced couples, mended their fences and became friends again. They even got together for a roll in the hay sometimes. LOL He ended up breaking up with Tootsie Big Tits and Shelly ended up consoling him. And for those of you that have seen Shelly's picture, you KNOW that she can provide some serious consolation! Then he met another girl and they stopped engaging in post-marital fucky-wucky.

But there were some tough days before all that. A lot of times I ended up at her apartment holding her while she cried. It tore me up that she was hurting so much. She's very sensitive and the whole thing really hurt her, even though she knew that they were doing the right thing.

She felt guilty about cheating (with my bf, she never considered making love to me cheating). She felt angry that her hubby cheated. She was pissed he had stopped sleeping with her for so long. It was just a big mess of emotions and I was happy that she chose my shoulder to cry on. As with any divorce, there was blame enough to go around (if blame must be passed around at all).

I did ask her at one point, though, if she was angry with me. I introduced her to my bf a few months after she and I met. I was nervous about this. I was the one who really initiated the threesomes we had in early 2008. I wouldn't have blamed her. She said she wasn't, and I was very relieved. I was selfish for doing that. But I loved the idea of my bf and gf in bed with me.

She could've been mad. Think about it. One day, she has a hubby and a girlfriend on the side. Then she has two people on the side. A few months later, she's fully involved in group sex almost every week. Huge jump for a girl without a past like....well, mine or Lexie's or Ryan's. Then again, Mitzie's girlfriend Kellie adapted to it pretty well and she had a pretty "clean" past.

Brian and I did mend our fences, though. Shelly didn't want any hard feelings between us. So Brian and I met for lunch a few months ago. As some of you know, he and my hubby became friends after Shelly and I met and I figured for the sake of my hubby, we should at least try and bury the hatchet.

We did. We ended up talking for a couple of hours and aired our grievances. I could see how I put him off. I can be disrespectful and mouthy at times and that got to him after awhile. I mean, honestly, I never meant to offend him. Sometimes my mental filter doesn't operate properly and I say shit I shouldn't. And he apologized for some of the things he said. He admitted that he had been threatened by Shelly's feelings for me. On some level I sensed that....and reacted rather snottily about it.

Divorce, American Style, truer than the red, white and blue-oo-oo-oo!

Been banging the bf quite a bit. Kinda like old times. LOL BF's wife, my baby girl Alex, has been fucking Nick quite a bit. I think she's wearing him out. LOL Of course, that leaves plenty of time for her hubby to take care of his main girlfriend, which is me, of course.

Some guy wrote me and wanted to hook up. He saw the blog. I was tempted. I mentioned this to Lexie, who promptly set me straight. If you haven't seen Lexie's blog, she's adamant about never meeting people off-line. Says it's too dangerous. She's right. But man.....dude was married, cute....

I was tempted. Really tempted. But decided that she was right.

Honestly, that's why I had so many hook-ups with girls in college. I rarely slept with guys I wasn't dating. Girls are safer. Now, I'd like to add that I did date quite a few guys in college. LOL

One question I get asked a lot is why I left Florida State after my sophomore year. That's a story in itself. No, there was no major scandal. I was just burned out. Well, and a few other things. Maybe for my next entry?

Speaking of college..........

I'm almost done! As Lexie might say, "Yay for me!" I've been taking on-line classes part-time at the University of Phoenix for the last couple of years. I'll be getting my B.S. in Bidness at the end of this year! Woooohooooooo! Okay, that's not really almost done, but close enough!

I did take one on-campus class last Fall. Met a cute married guy. Yeah. Ended up in bed with him. Not great. That's for another entry as well. Not horrible, not great. Quite forgettable.

I will say this, though: All sex is good sex? My ASS!

I get asked a lot of questions. I need to do an entry answering them all. Well, the ones that can be answered in a paragraph or less. LOL Some require their own entry!

Anyway, back to the pic. Yahoo gave me a ton of grief about it, to the point where I had to edit and edit and edit it to the point where, well, you couldn't see anything good! That sucks!

Anyway, the girl on the left is Mindy. I met her during my sophomore year at FSU. We really hit it off and one day after class she asked if I dug chicks. I told her that I definitely dug chicks and thought that she was super-cute.

She wanted to know if I wanted to get together with her while her b/f Bill watched. I was initially concerned, of course, but I did meet him and he really seemed (and turned out to be) really nice. So I agreed, but told them that I wanted to bring a gay friend of mine, Frank, with me the first time, just for my own piece of mind. They were both cool with that.

I had a great time with Mindy two nights later. She was definitely hot and knew how to please a girl. I really, really dug her tats.

Anyway, I hooked up with Mindy a few times and oddly enough, Frank showed up for a couple more, just to watch. He couldn't explain why he enjoyed watching, but he did. Frank was, of course, never really attracted to girls but "appreciated the beauty of the female form".

Exact quote.

I get that. I've gotten off while watching gay porn, myself. Maybe not exactly the same thing, as I like men, but you can't always explain why something turns you on. Sexuality isn't always logical, right?

Anyway, these were taken the fourth time, I think, I got together with Mindy. Frank was there, as was Bill. I definitely would've rolled with him, too. But they liked hooking her up with other girls and having him watch. I guess it was their "thing". Too bad. He was a cute guy. Eventually, they moved on to other girls. Too bad, again. Then again, I did leave FSU not all that long after I first met them. Mindy and Bill were really sweet. I don't know if they stayed together, but I hope they did. I could tell that they really loved each other.

So there are over 70 pics here. They were taken at our second meeting. Enjoy. I'm not editing out my face. It's been 14 or so years, so fuck it. LOL

Note: The pics aren't in exact order. I'm too lazy to figure out how to do that here. And really, do any of you care? Nah! Didn't think so! Another note: Yes, my nipples are pierced in these pics.

I hope everyone's doing well! Talk to you later! Or sooner, probably! LOL Remember: if you can't be good, be good at what you're doing that's bad!

"Duh."

That's Mindy's boyfriend, Bill, right behind me.

Beer and pussy? Sign me up for that anytime!

Love this pic. For some reason, it just strikes me as uber-hot.

Lovin', touchin', squeezin', anotherrrrrrrrrrr.......

"More beer!"

"Ooops! I did it again!"

Making sure my skin's still smooth. :)

"I shure likes beer....hic...."

My "O" face!

"Whoa, baby!"

I LOVED her ass and her tramp stamp!