So What's New?

So, you come to the original bad girl's blog.....to read an entry about health? LOL Bear with me.


In late January, I went in for my yearly pap smear (sorry guys, but it's relevant to the story). After checking my happy palace (snicker), the doctor started checking my face, my skin and my hair. She also noticed that I had lost some weight.

She then then asked me a host of other questions. She then said, "Lori, I think you need to get your thyroid tested."


Huh? Why? WTF?


"I think you might have a condition known as hyperthyroidism."
"Huh?"
"You're thyroid gland is overactive. I think."


So I made an appointment with our doctor at North Fulton Family Medical and went in. And he looked over the file my gyno sent over and did a TSH test (and all the blood work and tests, cuz no matter what you go to a doctor for, you get blood work done--got the trots? Blood work. Got herpes? Blood work. Ingrown toenail? Blood work.) A couple of days later, I went in and met with him.


"Dr. Traxton was right. You do have hyperthyroidism."
"How long? Do you know?"
"No way of knowing. Could've been years."


Wow.


So now I get to take medicine for it. The doctor also told me to severly curtail my drinking.


That's right. My bourbon. My precious bourbon.....my precious, wonderful, bourbon. But I knocked my drinking down by roughly 90 percent.


On the flip side, I feel a million times better now. The fatigue is gone, I'm eating better, and I've gained weight back. My hair is thicker. I feel so much better. Of course, knocking off the heavy boozing helps too, I'd guess.


And shockingly, I'm a bit less hyper. I've mellowed out a tad. I like that. I've always been somewhat high strung (shut up) and now I'm a little looser. Not all that much, but enough to notice a difference.

Buccaneer Lori has made an appearance and is venting her wrath on Bucs and Browns fans.

Trent Dilfer is still a douche, of course.

Lori's Back In Da Hizzy!

Danica Patrick is H-O-T! I'd like to bury my face between her legs and...... step on the accelerator! Yeah!

Soooooooooooo......your rave-fave porn star ain't been on for awhile. I know, I know. Start a blog and then ignore it. Sure, I suppose I could be more attentive, like my girl Alex is with hers or my boyfriend is with his, but porn stars, by nature, aren't very responsible!

Boooyah!

So where were we when I was last here? Oh yeah, Nick.

Nick and I met a few times. The sex was fantastical. Is that a word? Anyway, it was great. I loved fucking him again. But he started feeling guilty and put an end to it.

Sheesh.

I mean, I get the guilt thing. I think. Yeah, I get it.

But why should he feel guilty? I mean, he's a great dad and a great husband. I know that sounds odd; a great husband who cheats. But he was only--er, yeah, "only"--cheating with me and the only reason he was cheating is because his princess of a wife wouldn't spread her legs for him.

Seriously, if a wife doesn't put out, that should give him the right to get relief elsewhere! And the same for sex-deprived wives!

I told Nick to give it some thought and if he changed his mind, we'd talk about resuming our fun. It's not an automatic. He's not going to call me every six months to get off and be done with it for another six months. I'm a porn star, not a hooker. There's a difference.

Anyway, if he changes his mind, I might require him to play with my girls at least once. Shelly, Lexie, Mitzie and Kellie (should the last two choose to join the group again) would enjoy him. I'd love to have two cocks at once (er, well, again that is) and so would they. Of course, boyfriend approves.

Whatever his girls want...they get! Lunch, movie, oral, guest cock....doesn't matter.

Back to Nick. Or, more specifically, his wife. Isn't not putting out a form of cheating in and of itself? If a spouse doesn't put out, then he/she is robbing the other of something important. When my hubby wants to jump on Lori's Wild Ride, he gets to jump on Lori's Wild Ride.

And a wild ride it is. I love it when he puts his E ticket in the slot. And he is this tall, so he's eligible to ride again and again......

There's still lots I want to do with this blog. I want to repost some photos I had on 360. Here, I can post them without having to edit every little fucking thing. Yahoo would just come and take down my pics, even if they didn't show any frontal nudity. I do enjoy the freedom that Blogspot offers its users.

One thing is I want to write up something about my boyfriend. Yeah, he wrote about me on his blog, but I thought it'd be fun to talk about it from my point of view. Gah. I hate to say it, but meeting him really was one of the best days of my life. And I hate saying it because I know he'll tease me about it. But meeting me was one of the best days of his life, so we're even.

I'd also like to do entries on Shelly and Alex. And Mitzie, too.

Oh, and another very important person.....my hubby. I'm sure some of you are curious about him. ;)

Anyway, I thought I'd repost an entry I originally did on Yahoo 360 (Originally titled, "Suck It, Sarah!") about an affair I had with a married man when I was 18. It was awesome. I got laid and got revenge on a horrible, nasty bitch of a woman at the same time.

I guess you could say that I'm a muti-tasker.

______________________________________________

Bad me. Bad Lori..... Bad, BAD, Lori.....

This is about a married guy I had an affair with many years ago. He lived and his bitch wife lived across the street. I was 18, he was 30. And Robert Redford handsome. They had moved in a few years earlier, not long after I started high school.

He was always pleasant and nice. But I hated the guy's wife, though. Total bitch. I don't know why she disliked me so much, but she wouldn't give me the time of day. And I mean from day one.

After I had JUST turned 18, I ran into their six year old boy. He waved at me from across the street and said "HI LORI!"

SO CUTE!

So I waved back and talked to the cute little guy. He was telling me about school and all that. So I was just saying, "Uh huh...., that's great" that type of thing.

So his mom saw me talking to him, shot me a dirty look and grabbed his hand. The kid started crying because he thought he was in trouble and even looked back and waved. I could hear that she was telling him something, but didn't hear what. Probably something to the effect of "I told you not to talk to her!" It wasn't because she thought he was wandering into the street, either. It was me.

What'd she think? I was gonna give her kid the clap just by talking to him? WTF? The wierd thing is, it's not like I had a rep or anything. I may have been promiscuous, but I was never the neighborhood or school slut. I dressed fairly conservatively (except in certain circumstances......LOL). I was pretty discreet. My parents never knew, how could she?

So anyway, the next day, Bill came over and apologized. I asked him why his wife didn't like me--I had never done anything to her. He didn't want to answer. "She thinks I'm a whore, huh?" He kind of nodded. I told him not to worry about it. I didn't care what she thought and that he and I were cool.

But as he left, I said, "Do you think that?" He said, "Think what?" "That I'm a whore." "No, I certainly don't." "Well, if you want.....we could get together sometime and you can judge for yourself." He looked at me with a shocked expression. I laughed and said, "You heard me. Don't worry. I'm legal. Barely." He laughed and said, "You're still in high school!" "Yah, so's my boyfriend. So what? You're cute."

So he just smiled and said, "Thanks....but....I can't." "Okay, that's cool. Let me know if you change your mind." "I won't, no offense." "I bet you will."

So I'm confident. What can I say?

I wasn't worried about Bill telling his wife. He was an easygoing guy who didn't want the headache of his wife storming across the street to tell my parents that I tried to nail her hubby. Besides, he did like me and thought I was funny, so I knew he'd be discreet. But really, I was out of line. Sometimes I cross the line from outgoing to obnoxious.

So when I saw him a few days later (I was washing my car--I like sports, hot women, clean cars, and red meat; give me a dick and I'd be a guy (which means Ryan wouldn't fuck me, the big jerk!) I decided to make amends.

It was 4 on a Friday afternoon and he got home a bit early. I had watched his wife pull out earlier, so I knew I could chat with him. So I waltzed across the street. So I said, "Hey, Bill?" Luckily he smiled. "Yes Lori?"

"You're not mad are you?"

"About the other day?"

"Yah, that. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"It's okay. It just surprised me. You're a little forward, you know."

"Yah, Mom tells me that a lot. Actually she told me that I'm alot forward."

I still say "Yah" alot. Drives Boyfriend, Girlfriend and Husband crazy. "Hey, Lori, want dinner?" "Yah." "What?" "Yah. Yah. Yah. Yah." "Hey Lori, you think that chick is hot?" "YAHHHHHH!" "Hey Lori, wanna come down and have some girly fun?"

YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Yah, I'm like that.

So he was cool. I really wanted to take him to the side of the house and suck him off as a reward, but I figured I'd already pushed my luck. Besides, I didn't want to snack and get full before dinner.

Heh.

So we ended our conversation. I thought I'd better get out before Sarah the Bitch drove up and accused me of raping her husband or infecting her house with the herp. She'd probably call Haz-Mat over.

So I finished up cleaning my Toyota Corolla. My boyfriend, Troy, was coming over later to watch television (and fuck me, since Mom and Daddy were going out) and I wanted to wash up.

We had fun that night.

So Bill and I kept chatting over the next few months. I graduated from high school and took a summer job at Penny's. I fucking hate retail. I fucking hate dealing with assholes who can't even read a fucking price tag. I fucking hate the general public.

Troy and I broke up after graduation. We were both in it for the sex, and not much else. Cool guy though. We liked each other, but there wasn't much beyond that. And he was accepted to the University of Miami and left early to set up an apartment (Troy had no intention of living in a dorm, and his parents could easily afford it).

But I was double out of luck. I knew a girl from another high school and we'd meet every couple of weeks for fun. We had met at the beginning of our senior year at a football game. But she started getting....I don't know. I think she just felt weird about playing with another girl.

It wasn't anything heavy. Kissing, hugging, masturbating together, some oral. I wasn't chaining her to a sybian or anything or doing her with a strap on. But I respected her decision. She was nice and I think she had a hard time telling me that she wanted to stop.

Hey, I TOLD you I was a wild child when I was younger!

So a few weeks later....I'm friggin' horny. And I'm in no mood to hang around the mall and pick up the first guy I see. So why not try Bill again? Hey, his wife wasn't giving any ass up, well I didn't think she was. So maybe I could entice him. Over 18, out of high school......hot little Irish girl....

So I was pulling my car in one day after suffering through five hours of "Can I return this? ("This" being something worn and then damaged)....I see him working in his garage. No wifey in sight.

So I went into my bedroom, put on a tight pair of shorts (no underwear, of course)--that showed my ass hanging out a little. And I threw on a tank top (no bra, again of course) and walked over. "Hey!" "Hey sweetie. How you doing?"

Heh. He hadn't looked up yet. Lolita was in da house! Or the garage.

"Good. You?"
"Just fi----"
"What?" "Sheesh, Lori. My wife sees me talking to you dressed like that....."
"Oh, then I'll just say my clothes shrank."
"Lori...."
"What?"
"I thought we had put this issue to bed?"
"TO BED?"

That was it. I got the giggles. Then he got them too. "Okay.....okay, I thought we agreed that we wouldn't talk about this anymore." So I said, "Well, I didn't say anything but hello..... but I never said that I wouldn't bring it up again. I just apologized." "So what's changed?" "Oh, come on. Tell me you haven't thought about fucking me."

Hey, I really WAS forward, huh?

"LORI!"
"Deny it. Hey, I'm not looking to hurt you or your marriage. But I know you stare at me. You stared at my ass when I walked away after that apology."
"Looking isn't actually doing it."

Enough. Too many nights with Mr. Vibrator gets to a girl.

So I walked over to the switch for the garage door opener and said, "You have five seconds to tell me not to flip this switch. If you don't, I'm going to give you a blow job. Five...."
"Lori...."
"Four....just tell me and I'll leave.""
Uh....."
"Three....I can see you have a hard on...but I'll leave if you want. Just tell me to."
"Lori, go ho--"
"TWOONE!"

Sorry, Bill. I was faster. I flipped the switch and took off my top and walked over. Bill's mouth was hanging open. I said, "Go ahead....touch 'em." He did and I loved it. I won. He had given in. This would only be the start.

So I got on my knees and started licking and sucking and jacking his dick. He had been in dry dock far too long. And that was a HUGE shame for such a good looking guy. I had my hand down my pants and fingered myself while I sucked him.

I could feel him start to tense up and I knew what that meant. He took his cock out and pointed it away from me. I grabbed it and pointed it at my tits. I got a bath.

Yah! She shoots...she scores! Actually HE shoots, and I scored....or did he score? We both scored?

So I got up and kissed him on the lips and put my shirt on. Then I grabbed his hand and had him feel how wet I was--and I was soaked. Then I said, "Okay. I won't bother you anymore. It's up to you if you want to fuck or do whatever, okay?" He was drained. He hadn't cum in so long I think I wore him out! He said, "Okay honey."

As I left through the side door, I said, "I won't tell anyone about today either. It never happened. And don't feel guilty....I didn't really intend to leave no matter what you said. But next time, you have to ask--you have to come to me. I've done my part. But if you ask, I'll say yes. You can have me til the end of summer and then I go up to Tallahassee." "Okay." "And your wife's wrong: I'm not a whore....but I'll sure as shit fuck you like one."

Eeeeep! The words that came out of my mouth that day!

So I went home. Mom and Dad weren't home yet, so I grabbed Mr. Vibrator and had some fun. As I was about to cum, I tasted Bill's cum and that did the trick. I showered up and watched television the rest of the night.

I saw Bill on and off for a week or so. He'd wave and I'd wave back. He seemed like he wanted to talk, but didn't. Well, I had made the first move, so I thought he could come get me if he wanted to play. Of course, eventually he did.

About ten days after my oral conquest, I was washing my car (I REALLY llike clean cars) when Bill walked over. We made small talk and finally he said, "You wanna come over tomorrow?"

"Where's wife gonna be?"
"She'll be in Dunedin all day visiting her mom and dad."
"You're not going?"
"No, I have to work a couple of hours in the morning."
"Okay. I'll keep an eye out for your car and just come over."
"Can't wait."

Then to top it off.... "Oh, Bill? What I'm going to do to you tomorrow will make that blow job I gave you will look like a fucking game of checkers. So get your sleep tonight, cuz your dick is mine tomorrow."

And Ryan laughs and tells me I have a mouth NOW. He shoulda seen me back then!

But yes, I'm that good. Ask Ryan. He hasn't even looked at another woman since meeting me. Well, except his cutie-puss wife that I'm in love with.

So the next morning I purtied mahself ups and put on some shorts and a t-shirt, pulled my hair into a pony tail and waited. And finally around 11 Bill pulled in. I went outside and he gave me the thumbs up.

So I ran over and we went inside and I attacked him. You know those hot movie scenes where a guy and a chick are making out and stripping each other's clothes off at the same time?

Yah, that happened.

I got everything I wanted. I got eaten several times, 69'd, and fucked over and over. The first time he fucked me, I was bent over his couch and he took me from behind. Awesome. Honestly, I don't remember how many times he fucked me, just that we did it in just about every position.

He was sex-starved, and I was happy to serve up dinner! Pussy: it's what's for dinner!

At one point, between romps, he confessed that--as I had suspected--his worthless wife never spread her legs for him. I told him then he had nothing to feel guilty about with me.

Seriously......if you don't put out for your wife or hubby, don't complain if they get it from somebody else. This guy was so nice and so good looking that it was a waste. But good for me. The less hard ons she took advantage of, the more there were for me.

And there were plenty for me. I gave him something I rarely give men: a standing invite that says anytime, anywhere. When it got to be around 4:30, I got dressed and told him that all he had to do was let me know that he wanted to fuck. If I could, I would. The only other guy I've given that to is Ryan.

Needless to say, once that first Saturday was done, Bill took advantage of my offer as much as he could. We'd meet and I'd give him nooners during his lunch hour. I'd meet him at the fucking Wynn-Dixie parking lot at night. Like Shakira says, "Whenever, wherever." A few times, he snuck over when bitchy-pooh was asleep and we fucked in my car or in the garage.

My period meant a few days of blow jobs for Bill. I went crazy on this guy. Part of it was that I was really horny myself. I was 18 and in always in heat--you know how THAT goes. Another part was that I liked him--he was nice, and I like nice guys (if you're on my friends list, consider yourself a nice guy).

The last part?

That bitch. That worthless bitch who thought that I wasn't good enough to talk to her little boy. Fuck her. Fuck her for thinking I'd somehow corrupt a six year old. I've been called my share of names. I'm a big girl (well, not literally). I can take it. But nothing hurt me like that did. I love kids. Yet I was trash to her.

So school time arrived and it was getting close for The Queen to drive up to Tallahassee. Blah. Never should've done it. Loved the college (GO SEMINOLES!), but wasn't ready. How I made good grades for two years, I'll never know.

So after our last time, I thanked Bill for all the fun. He looked at me like I was crazy and said, "I should be thanking you." And I told him that if he needed to find another woman, to do it and to never feel guilty for going out and getting what he needed.

I have no tolerance for spouses who withhold sex!

And I also told him that if he needed some attention during the winter break, I'd be glad for an encore. And if he wanted me next summer, consider it done. I also gave him my address and told him to call me and if he found himself up there, we'd have fun. He smiled. He liked that. But I think more than the sex, he just wanted to be close to a girl. His wife was so emotionally cold, I don't know how he could even stand her.

We did meet up on my winter break and had a couple of fun times. But in February, he called me up to say goodbye. He had gotten promoted and was going to be moving to Houston. I was bummed. He was so much fun. But I liked the fact that he thought enough of me to call to let me know and to say goodbye and to thank me and say I meant alot to him. Okay, THAT made me cry a little....I admit it. No, I didn't love him, but I would miss him. I hope he found a nice, sweet Texas girl to fuck. Heh.

As for YOU, Sarah.....

Fuck you. I loved screwing your husband and doing what you were too much of a selfish skank to do. I loved giving him not only sex, but affection and the self-confidence you eroded. I loved seeing him smile and have fun. I loved fucking him ON YOUR SIDE OF THE BED with my head on your pillow!

I make no apologies for taking care of this man, even if only for a couple of months. Fuck, I'm proud of that summer. I'm proud that I made him happy. He made me happy, too.

Too bad for you, Sarah.

Cunt.

Glad I got THAT off my chest! I loved my fun with Bill.

_______________________________________

As true now as when I first wrote it.

My property...er, my boyfriend.....told me about a site where you can look people up. I did find Bill. He's still in Texas, and apparently still married to that hag Sarah.

Suck it, Sarah!

My only regret is that I didn't fuck him even more than I did.

I will say this: I don't know why Sarah disliked me so much to begin with. I was always nice to her. I was nice to the little boy. And I never flaunted my body. It's not like I hung out in the driveway in Daisy Duke cutoffs, and a wet t-shirt.

Maybe she was just jealous of every girl. I have no clue. But I sure as fuck didn't appreciate her or her fucking stuck-up attitude. What a miserable bitch.

She didn't deserve a guy as good as Bill. She never did and doesn't now. She never will.