Coming Attractions

Buccaneer Lori, at your service!

For those of you that haven't thrown yourselves into a wood chipper......

I'm just checking in on my laptop here. Nice long Saturday at Ryan & Lexie's house. Everyone's passed out except for me. LOL We go at it pretty hard and really get our money's worth. And that's way sex should be, whether it's two or more people involved: intense and long. The more you cum, the better. The more times you make someone cum, the better.

My baby, Shelly, is in our room snoozing away and Mitzie's cuddled up between our hosts in their bed.

Me? I'm sipping on a Diet Coke and eating a sandwich. Alternative lifestyles allow for late-night snacking, thankfully.

If you know me from Yahoo!, you know I like food. I like food a lot. I'm grateful for many things. Sex, the people I love, my job, being multi-orgasmic, the Tampa Bay Bucs are all on that list. But one thing I'm also grateful for is having a very high metabolism. Without it, I'd be round.

Nick drove up a few days ago and took me to a hotel and we did an encore performance. It was great. The guy loves sex and I benefit from what his wife passes up. She's nuts. How she isn't interested in getting this guy's cock in her mouth and pussy as much as possible is beyond me.

Anyway, it was nice to fuck him in a bed instead of a car. Car sex is fun, but you're really limited in what you can do. You're worried about people catching you and let's face it: your body can only bend so many ways. Let's just say that doggy style is much easier done in a bed!

Anyway, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So I'm going to flatter my favorite married couple and their blogs. I'm going to create some "side blogs' (as Lexie would say). Not too many, but one on sports (cuz I'm the fucking queen of sports, baby), my friends, and a couple of other things.

So you don't have to add each to your list of blogs you are following or keep clicking the side blogs, I'll just post notice on this page which has been updated. Then you go, become amazed at how fucking brilliant and humble I am on everything and go back to the main page.

Boyfriend, of course, has been victimized. He had the perfect blog template for his side blog on yours truly. Well, I cried and whined and begged and bitched and he finally told me where to find it. This works on most things, of course. Usually he just gives in to shut me up.

Oh, okay, so I just asked him. He didn't make me go into my whiny girlfriend mode. This is a good thing. Of course, he had to find another template for his tribute to me, the second most important woman in his life, but he'll manage. I'm like "wife b" to him. And Lexie's the one who coined that phrase.

So he had to give me the template or I would've told Lexie and she would've come through for her raging favorite redhead.

Yeah, he's got it made huh? We torment him, you know. We make him buy us lunches, take us shopping, carry our bags, listen to us bitch and complain about stuff, etc....

It's really cool. We make him fuck us and then order him to make us dinner.

Imagine your wife....times four. That's kind of how we roll around here. He's definitely outnumbered. Poor boyfriend...sigh.....

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy......

Most of the first entries that'll be posted are the ones from my 360 page. I have to hurry my little ass over there and get them before 360 is flushed for good. When I've finished, I'll make an update here, so I don't bug you all with "hey, another post from 360". That could be a tad annoying. LOL

One of the other side blogs (fuck, Lexie, did you just make that up in your pretty blonde head--now I can't stop saying it!) will deal with my sexual preferences. That could be fun.

Another will be on my background and all that. I probably won't update that one for obvious reasons.

Oh, and one will be devoted to goat fucking. I know lots of people are into goat fucking these days. I blame it on the economy. I don't know why the economy should be blamed, but no matter what happens these days, people blame it on the economy.

"My car doesn't run. Must be the economy."

"I have the trots. Must be too worried about the economy."

"My fucking wife won't swallow. She must be concerned about the economy."

"Jay Leno retired. Must be the economy."

"My testicles fell into the pencil sharpener. Fucking economy."

"People won't pay 2,000 bucks for a seat at a Yankee game. Must be the economy."

"I gave my daughter the herp. Must be the economy."
"Tiger Woods missed the cut at the British Open. Must be the economy."

"Yes, I cheated, honey. But she was hot and remember, the economy is, well, you know."
"I was a stupid shithead who bought a Yugo in the '80s. I must've been worried about the economy in advance."

And on and on. So goat fucking it is.

Note for anybody stupid enough to look for a goat fucking blog: I'm not really doing a goat fucking blog.

The sports blog, though, is important to me. If you know me offline or from 360, you know that I'm a sportsoholic. I love sports times a million. And I love the Bucs, Rays, and Magic (I'm still hurting from that loss in the Finals--married couple I love is still thrilled to no end) the most.

And if there's one guy I just love to piss all over, It's Trent "Douche Bag ButtSmack" Dilfer. I don't do it too much, but I enjoy myself when I sink my teeth into the hide of this carcass of a former NFL "quarterback/great team guy".

Another target of mine are Cleveland sports "fans". I like the Browns and watched them a lot when I was a kid. But fuck if I don't against some fans there. This goes back to last season, when Browns quarterback Derek Anderson was injured and the fans cheered it. So if you're from Cleveland and have an issue with me having an issue with that, piss off and throw yourself into a wood chipper.

I'm the youngest child in the family. And I have four older sports-crazy brothers. Many Sundays growing up, I'd sit with my dad and brothers and cheer on the Bucs. Most of the time there wasn't much to cheer, but I've stayed loyal to this team (even though the fuckheads running it now are fucking pissing me off to no end this offseason) since the first Sunday I watched it. I didn't understand it, but hey, I was four years old.

Sigh....I wish they'd bring back the original uniforms.....

Oh, and I still am proud that I predicted--on my 360 page--that the Giants would beat the Pats in the 2008 Super Bowl. Boyfriend had to buy me a steak for winning our bet!

Another important note: When doing a sports entry, I morph into a different personality. It's kind of a "Hulk" deal, except I don't turn green and have huge muscles. No, I magically become attired in pirate chick clothes and find a sword in my hand. My titties get bigger too. I wish I could keep 'em when I morph back into normal Lori mode.

Another will be devoted to those I love: my "family", my hubby, and other friends. I'll give you some background on how I met each of these people. I'm looking forward to that.

So that's all I wanted to say. I'm going to join Shelly in bed.

I hope you all have a great weekend!