Sunday, April 22, 2012

Wouldn't You Like To Be A Pepper Too?

Dr. Pepper, drink Dr. Pepper......

Wah-sup, motherfuckers? I'll tell you wah-sup! You wanna know? Okay, this is wah-sup......

MOTHERFUCK CARP!

That's wah-sup!

And no, I'm NOT going to get tired of saying that any time soon. In fact, I'm probably NEVER going to get tired of saying that. And you're not tired of reading it, either. Admit it.

Me and my boy, Ron Washington, are all about motherfuck Carp! And you should be too! It'll add peace, balance, and harmony to your lives. Say it a few times. You'll feel better. Much better. Open your minds, motherfuckers.

I bet even the man who inspired this great phrase, Chris Carpenter, is going around saying, "Motherfuck Carp!" I would be!

Bitch ass motherfuckah brought it to da hizzy, motherfuck Carp gits mah mind all a-bizzy!

You know, sometimes that repeating yourself to get your way doesn't work. Rarely works on the boyfriend, and even less on the hubby. My properties don't bend as easily as my boss.

Me: "Property, buy me a new car."
Husband: "Quit calling me property and no, you only have 55,000 miles on your current one."
Me: "Property, buy me a new car."
Husband: "No."

Well, that's fucked. Then again, I probably shouldn't have asked for a Porsche.

Note to Blogger: If I say I don't want to add my cell phone to this account, don't give me some fucking pop-up window asking if I'm sure, okay? And I'm sick of this question popping up again and again. If I WANTED to do this, I WOULD HAVE by now.

Oh, fine, here's my cell: 555-Fuc-Koff.

Another note to Blogger: Your new interface sucks dick. I hate it. Quit switching my layout to the new one. It's just annoying when I have to keep opting to use the old--better--interface.

Why do companies like Google and Microsuck insist on forcing new shit down their customers throats?

Okay, that's about it for this lame-ass entry. Really, I just cobbled a few things together....because....it's time....it's time! That's right!


Well, that and I just wanted to say "motherfuck Carp!" a few times...

Until next time, motherfuckers!


2 comments:

Svetlana Ivanova said...

The problem with companies like Google is that the people they hire are geeks who like "cool" features. User-friendliness is not much of a concern for them.

Lori said...

I agree. Google and FaceBook are really starting to piss me off with this crap. And I'm sick of both of them trying to get personal info from me. Maybe these geeks need to get a piece of ass once in awhile, get out of their parents' basement, and live a little.